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The Day of the Diagnosis

When my daughter was diagnosed with leukemia on April 20, 2012, we were hurled into the unfathomable, uninvited world of childhood cancer. It was like a punch in the gut hearing the words coming out of the doctors mouth… “It’s cancer”. In that moment, while our beautiful, brave, barely 14 year old daughter patted our backs & said, “It’ll be okay Mom & Dad”, I could barely catch my breath. The room was closing in and all I could see was darkness. A million thoughts ran through my head & I thought I was going to be sick. “Wait! Melissa,...
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Happy Angelversary

I’ m constantly reminded that Heaven is our Real Home. 1 year ago, during this hour we prayed our beautiful firstborn baby girl across the finish line of her earthly life. I’ll never ever forget the heart-wrenching moments. How our hearts were breaking, never to be pieced back together again. Kissing her head and thinking, “please Lord make this kiss  last my lifetime”, b/c i knew it would be the last I would get.-   Praying for Jesus to sweep my baby away quickly so that she would not taste the sting death. He answered that prayer. Her dad taught her...
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Echo’s from heaven

I checked out at the store just today & my total was $11.23. I looked at the clock and saw that the time was 11:23 too. I told the cashier & she said, “That’s weird!” I thought, “not if u have a kiddo in heaven & pray the prayer I prayed this morning. Hi baby girl.” 11+2+3=16. She’d b 16 if she were here. Oh man I miss her. Faith- confidence in what I hope for and assurance in what I cannot see (Hebrews 11:1). Jaquelyn said, “Don’t be sad for too long mom. I’ll be more real than you...
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It’s Beautiful

It’s so beautiful at Jaquelyns sacred spot in the mornings. This is where her body will join her soul in the air at Jesus return one day. I used to cry uncontrollably when I came to her spot.  Its strange though, now, i feel like this is where i can think clearly. I think about eternal things.  Like, I wonder if My daughter is praying for us in heaven…I read “Heaven Is For Real” right after Jaquelyn went to heaven. There’s a part in the book where the little boy (Colton), during his visit to heaven, prayed for his dad. ...
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In My Dreams

I had a dream the other night where I got to visit Jaquelyn! In my dream, I was in a mall full of people. I recognized Jaquelyn in the distance so I ran to her as fast as I could, grabbed her and gave her a bear hug and kissed her all over her cheeks and forehead. She was healthy and full of life. She hugged me just as tight and was laughing as I kissed her (now it was only she and I). I said, “oh gosh, I have missed you so so much! I’m never letting go of...
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Dear Jordyn by Dad

Jordyn. Jordyn is my 11 year old daughter. Just turned 11 yesterday, 8/29/2014. She is one amazing little girl. She has a heart of GOLD!  When my Neenie was about to meet Jesus and for a lack of better words, on her death bed, my BABY GIRL, Jordyn, layed down beside her and cuddled to her for hours. Jordyn didn’t want to leave her side. She has a strength, a gift, and a love for those who are leaving us.  When Jaquelyn was in ICU, and fighting for every breath, fighting for every ounce of life, Jordyn, refused to leave...
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Fighting my daughters Fight

I’m so thankful that God has given me the gift of being able to continue fighting my daughters fight through her foundation.  Many grieving parents are not able to have this gift for varying reasons. I truly need this as a way of helping me continuing to be her mom as i finish out my life on this earth without my Jaquelyn bear. I express myself best through writing, although I’m not “a writer” per-say. When Jaquelyn was real sick and for a long time after she went to heaven, writing hurt too much so I did not do much...
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The Warrior is A Child

Gazing in the mirror, I see a warrior’s face, Fully clothed in armor no fear and no disgrace, A tear it never offers, A smile it always gives, No sadness does it show, but what a LIFE it lives. Needles going in, as blood is taken out, But still no sign of pain, no cries to make you doubt Each day you see us laughing, the tears are ours to save. So when you see our armor, and think we are calm and mild, remember this one thing THE WARRIOR IS A CHILD ~Terra Phillips 1994- Cancer Survivor    ...
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Journal Entry November 20, 2013

From November 20, 2013- journal Oh God! Help me. How am I going to live?… Without my first baby girl, my best friend, my joy, my heart?! You allowed cancer to take her from us & give her back to you. Help me Lord. In Christ alone, my hope is found He is my light my strength my song This cornerstone, this solid ground Firm through the fiercest drought & storm. What heights of love, what depths of peace. When fears are still, when striding cease. My comforter, my all in all, HERE IN THE LOVE OF CHRIST, I STAND!...
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My Heart

I keep waking up with a sunken heart. She’s gone. I can’t believe my sweet Jaquelyn is gone. My heart… – Lord Jesus- help me to be sober minded. Thank u for your grace. Help me to live by your Devine nature, which u place inside me.